What’s wrong; why are you so angry? This is a question I sometimes want to pose to people….but ya know, the whole trying to be tactful thing. But seriously, I really want to know. So much anger and aggression lying right under the surface in people present in different ways.
Anger is the second stage of grief and so many of us are stuck here and can’t even recognize it for what it truly is in our lives. Did you know that we act out anger in so many different ways? Now you may be saying, I’m not grieving anyone and I’m not angry…okay, but, let’s stop while I insert this fact here for you. Anything that creates a void in your life is a loss and because it was important to you, you will grieve it.
Now that I have dropped that on you and you’re probably thinking about something you have lost that was not necessarily a loss of life, let’s see where anger comes in. You had plans of how your life would be, dreams of what you wanted to accomplish and while you have a great life, an unchecked/unresolved situation/relationship can cause you to act in anger.
Is it lashing out and overreacting when things don’t go your way? Is it subtle disrespect while interacting with others? Is it putting someone down, while you appear to be lifting them up? Hold on, is that passive-aggressive behavior? Yeah, I think it is actually.
Whatever the case, unresolved grief can have you stuck in the anger stage. I encourage you to check your heart, mind, and soul for situations, plans, etc. that you are grieving and have left you in a place of anger.
The truth is acknowledging and facing whatever caused you to stay in this anger will be rewarding for you and trickle down to others. I encourage you to check and identify any triggers, these can sometimes be indicators of the unresolved wound or source of grief.
When assessing this stage, ask yourself…where is this anger stemming from, and what other factors play into this anger?
To quote Ice Cube, “check yo self, before you wreck yo self”. I’m sure this is not what he had in mind, but you get my drift. Check the anger, so it doesn’t check you. After all, healing is necessary to live freely!
Until Next Time,
Coach Rosie
